I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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