i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize