We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
