I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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