I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
