Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
