In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
