Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
