If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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