Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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