I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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