Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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