perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
