youre lurking in front of me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just found puke in my bra..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
