When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
