I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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