ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
only if we run a train.
done.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
