That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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