Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My breasts were aching with rage.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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