We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
