One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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