see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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