He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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