idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
