My brain says no but my pants say off.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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