i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Do vagina's smell?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
