Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
