My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
