I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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