there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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