yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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