R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
my liver is dry heaving
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
