I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
