Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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