just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
