my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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