East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
ok first of all what the fuck
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
