there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
