we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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