Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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