Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
