I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
