well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wear drunk well.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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