Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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