Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
