Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
