there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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