Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
