somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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