I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
