Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
