Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
