if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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