The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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