I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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