Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
