thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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