They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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