Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
